Last night when I went to sleep, I felt like, the shakti in me is calling for her divine lover shiva, I felt like why the god of my inner self is not responding? I felt like crying , I cried and called and then I remembered the story of Tapas of Parvati. Parvati or shakti, the goddess as an unmarried girl wanted to marry Lord Shiva and after she didn't received much encouragement from people around her and having decided inside to think about no one but the Lord. she decides to do tapas .
I wondered may be the only way to call the Lord is doing tapas. I felt like there is no me, the only thing true is the Lord and the Shakti in me. I understood the reason behind the calling. I need to realease the divine spirit with in me and call her Lord. I even wanted to awake the lord in my husband. I keep on asking my god to awake the siva in my partner. what makes me think that I know the love of the Lord for his partner? I wondered?
On the holy day of kaarteeka somavaara, divine monday of the month of kaarteeka , I realized this truth and the words came out of me.. Om Namah Sivaaya , OM Salutations to the Lord shiva. I want to keep calling the lord till the divine spirit is released and there exists no more of myself. The only truths are siva and shakti and their union will release me..
Om Namah Sivaaya..