The tiny little will

What happens with out a will? Will is every thing. The intention to do it mixes with interest and your karma and you do what you are willing to do. I asked many people the same question, I want to do this, I have the intention to do it, I am feeling guilty every day by not doing what I want to do. I cry and get depressed for not doing what I should be doing as I intend. Why am I not doing?

The question was laughed at and I will tell you what I was told. 'When you know you are not doing what you want to do , why don't you just do it'? some one else said, some times when the time is not right or its not the way we want to do it, we simply avoid it. And one person said, you need strong will, and you hold on to it.

But let me share with you what I was willing but not doing , I wanted to perform some rituals to the gods who always stay with me and help me. But how many times I tried to do that, It just didn't happened.

I had the will and I tried my best. But what I understand is , I could only able to do it when I gave up. I could perform when there was no control. I understand that my intention to do worked only when some one else intended it.

The tiny little will of me was all ME, There was no surrender, no humility and I am not ashamed to admit that I am a fool.

After this understanding of the truth now when I am doing it and I no more feel guilty. Strangely I used to feel lazy, burdening and difficult. Now it just happens and I don't even realize when it starts and when it ends.

When some one talk about will then look deep into yourself where the real power lives and pray there for will. Its never yours, still comes with in took many months to bring me from my mind to my soul. Will certainly don't lies in great logical thinking.Boy what a journey to discover a tiny little will.


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